Dear Mama,

                       I just want to say I am so thankful of  having you as a mother.

Without you, your love, and your caring for me I don’t know what I would’ve done.

You molded me into the person I am today I took your teachings with me.

I used your teachings until I became a better person.

You were right I know that I have hurt you and I hate the fact that,

I made our relationship the way it is today.

When I layed my hands on you God has already made

My life short. and I can deal with him making my life short

But if I die today I don’t know if  I can live with not having a relationship

With you. you are the best thing that has ever happen to me you are blessed.

And because you are my mother I am blessed to.

There is so much pressure in my life that I can honestly say I need you.

I need you and I need all the time back with you that I lost.

Because of my stupid choices.  I pray that you will forgive me and

Try to open up to me I know these  things take time. but I need you.

I feel if  I don’t have you I don’t have anyone. that’s how I feel now.

Everyone I ran to God closed all doors for me. he guided me back to you.

Ma, I LOVE YOU! I thought I was grown well I’m not.

I thought I was tough but I’m not, not without your guidance.

Without you it doesn’t feel like anyone loves me the way you do.

I don’t have anyone out there to make sure I’m OK.  and I refuse to die without speaking to you

Or saying bye. I’m hurt  not only did I hurt you I hurt me to.

I know that I had alot of issues but half of the issues I had.

I wouldn’t got any better if I didn’t take your teachings in hand.

 Im struggling now and trying to fight my way through.

Struggling to make a sacrifice for my child.

Just like you did for me not only me but my brother.

I get upset hearing everyone talk about there mom.

Even though I have one its painful knowing why we didn’t talk.

Because it was my decision to go down the rode I went down.

That’s why I said I am reaping what I sow.

I never thought life without you would be so hard but it is.

And I’m happy that you really chose to forgive me.

I had stopped many things that I did in the past.

I asked God to open my eyes so I can see the pain that I caused you.

I was tired of  trying to be the innocent one when the whole time I was guilty.

Mama I do love you with all my heart.

I know you are still in pain I hear it every time I talk to on the phone.

I apologize for all the wrong doings in my past.

Like I said I want you to forgive me not forget it.

Now I know you try to help me not hurt me.

I pray more that I have ever prayed before.

For us to get along and start over.

I’m not a stranger to you and your not a stranger to me.

And I hate feeling that way.I noticed that every time something went wrong with me.

That was the devil throwing me off to separate me and you more.

Cause he know that the one thing I need the most is you.

And it will make him happy to see us fall further apart.

Well I just want to let you know that you are a very wonderful mother!!!.

A mother that i would always need.