you made me more than i thought i would be.

you made me be a better Lynn Marie.

you made me see what you wanted to see.

you divided the good from the evil and i realized it.

it took a while for me to meet the needs that i had to meet.

i know i have to look past 09 and look at 2010.

its a new year it should be a new me.

not just me but Emmanuel a new born baby.

he is really the reason why i stay stress free.

he brings me joy, love, and alot of company.

i love my son and in may he will be born.

lord i thank you for all you have done for me.

lord i really appreciate the love and guidance.

and i pray that you continue to do for me and my son.

please make him the man you want him to be.

i pray for strength and the mind to do right .

in Jesus name i pray amen.

                       I just want to say I am so thankful of  having you as a mother.

Without you, your love, and your caring for me I don’t know what I would’ve done.

You molded me into the person I am today I took your teachings with me.

I used your teachings until I became a better person.

You were right I know that I have hurt you and I hate the fact that,

I made our relationship the way it is today.

When I layed my hands on you God has already made

My life short. and I can deal with him making my life short

But if I die today I don’t know if  I can live with not having a relationship

With you. you are the best thing that has ever happen to me you are blessed.

And because you are my mother I am blessed to.

There is so much pressure in my life that I can honestly say I need you.

I need you and I need all the time back with you that I lost.

Because of my stupid choices.  I pray that you will forgive me and

Try to open up to me I know these  things take time. but I need you.

I feel if  I don’t have you I don’t have anyone. that’s how I feel now.

Everyone I ran to God closed all doors for me. he guided me back to you.

Ma, I LOVE YOU! I thought I was grown well I’m not.

I thought I was tough but I’m not, not without your guidance.

Without you it doesn’t feel like anyone loves me the way you do.

I don’t have anyone out there to make sure I’m OK.  and I refuse to die without speaking to you

Or saying bye. I’m hurt  not only did I hurt you I hurt me to.

I know that I had alot of issues but half of the issues I had.

I wouldn’t got any better if I didn’t take your teachings in hand.

 Im struggling now and trying to fight my way through.

Struggling to make a sacrifice for my child.

Just like you did for me not only me but my brother.

I get upset hearing everyone talk about there mom.

Even though I have one its painful knowing why we didn’t talk.

Because it was my decision to go down the rode I went down.

That’s why I said I am reaping what I sow.

I never thought life without you would be so hard but it is.

And I’m happy that you really chose to forgive me.

I had stopped many things that I did in the past.

I asked God to open my eyes so I can see the pain that I caused you.

I was tired of  trying to be the innocent one when the whole time I was guilty.

Mama I do love you with all my heart.

I know you are still in pain I hear it every time I talk to on the phone.

I apologize for all the wrong doings in my past.

Like I said I want you to forgive me not forget it.

Now I know you try to help me not hurt me.

I pray more that I have ever prayed before.

For us to get along and start over.

I’m not a stranger to you and your not a stranger to me.

And I hate feeling that way.I noticed that every time something went wrong with me.

That was the devil throwing me off to separate me and you more.

Cause he know that the one thing I need the most is you.

And it will make him happy to see us fall further apart.

Well I just want to let you know that you are a very wonderful mother!!!.

A mother that i would always need.

Each one of you are all special in your own way.

I am going to start off with D’ Lisa you are a good person and you have the potential to be anything you want to be.

You are a good peoples person and we bonded great when i first got here, when i needed to talk i came to you and you responded greatly to me.

And also i noticed how you always have a problem with the dudes you meet that have kids but its funny how you work so well with them.

Next im going to Brittany you are very smart, and funny, and you can be nice when you want to be.

We did not bond that great when i first got here and we may argue on and off  but regardless whethere you liked it or not family is family.

And while i was here i was family,  just like you dont like to be called a foster child or like to feel out of the family well, i dont like to feel like im not apart of the family either.

And you did and or said really mean and evil spirited things to me as i did to you but i was there just like you but for temporary.

You have a very fiesty attitude and it can be a good thing if you just calm it down a little bit and i suggest if you want to be adopted that you start that now.

Rashid sometimes i didnt understand you because when you first got here i didnt take the time to really have a conversation with you but, i have noticed there are some things that we all agree and disagree on.

And we all make mistakes and i know that you had some problems with some of the things that i did or the friends i have but i use to feel as if you were trying to be more of a father figure to me and i didnt like that but then again at least i felt a little bit of what me having a father feels like so thank you and take care of nicki dont hurt her even though she can be a handfull sometimes.

Grandma you are the best i love when you clean up the house i love to see you happy cause when your happy im happy but most of all i love our talks you not only listen but you give me your advice and i love taking your advice especially when its coming from some one with Wisdom.

Tylenn you are very funny and you are really cute you are going to be a very smart young man when you get older cause you are very smart now i am going to miss riding bikes with you (and maybe when you get a little older……….)lol but be good.

Ericka you are very intelligent and very talented and we all know that you are very funny it may of took a little longer for us to bond because i didnt know you as well and i didnt know what to say but it turned out for the best you are a very outgoing person and very calm and i also enjoy being in your presence you always seemed to make me happy when i was down just be a good rolemodel to tylenn and the twins.

Kurt, Tracy, Janee, Mann, Cory, and Bria I have learned alot from all of you guys i guess one to not get so mad easily and take a joke so thanks, you showed me to just chill and relax have a great time and i really had a great time.

NeNe, Jarett, and Nazia, and of course J.D all of you guys are funny and cool to be around i loved your company and you guys keep it real and open you lay what you have to say on the table i like that alot.

Now last but not least Nicole i like you alot and as you see i like your family to i really apreciate all you have done for me there are no words to describe it actually there is no words to descibe any of these incredible people all of you guys are gifted, talented ,and special to GOD, GOD is using all of you and some of you dont even noticed it.

When i first conversated with you i saw a young lady with goals and as you try to reach them you always come across something called a trial and tribulation which we all go through.

I really dont know where to start you did so much things for me i cant even count on my fingers and toes that means its alot you are one of the best foster parents in mentor and i dont care what nobody say you have alot of patience cause you could have got rid of me a long time ago but you didnt .

keep doing what your doing and GOD will continue blessing you and you already know to put him first.

I just ask to pray for me and keep me in your  thoughts if  i could stay i would but i guess its my time to go.

I have to continue my journey into Life until i go up above to my father which is home for me.

But i have respect for all of you and i ask you not to ever forget me and always know that i will be safe.

Because i have GOD in my life and he is all i need to make it through.

But i just want to say thankyou, thankyou, and thankyou for all you have done for me.

We been through a lot in these past years together we smiled, laughed, connected, and even shed some tears.

In our life we had some empty promises, promises that did not mean any thing that’s why you will see me pray to the upstairs king.

I think about this a lot me getting my apartment and you moving in so that we can be a happy family again.

 You mean more than life to me and no matter how far mama moves us one day her blind eyes will see.

No one on this earth has the right to separate us cause you know we will put up a fight Lynn and peanut are a team when we get together you know what that

mean. We were once seeds that began to grow i don’t got to give them the life story cause they already know.

You were known for more than just your ability to fight but you were someone that everyone actually likes.

While you were gone your friends and my friends asked alot about you so now you know what i said in the eighth paragraph was true.

I found a way to find our parents if you want to see them thats fine if you don’t thats okay to. But boy if they only new the real you.

Well i guess all im trying to say is that the bad things i stopped and the good things im going to start so just to let you know that you are the only one that has

“The Key To My Heart”.